The story of Abisayo Fakiyesi – The advert executive who battled breast cancer twice and survived
Just two years ago, the future looked bleak for 30-year-old Abisayo Fakiyesi. A battle she thought had been won five years earlier came back staring at her. Four weeks to her wedding introduction, Fakiyesi was diagnosed with breast cancer, again, after her first diagnosis at 23. The American Cancer Society calls it the second leading cause of cancer death in women.
The diagnosis looked like a death sentence to her. It crashed her eight months relationship as her fiance walked out four weeks to their introduction. Everything appeared to be crashing down and she thought it was all over. She became suicidal and tried to take her life with Sniper, a deadly insecticide. But she rode on the storm and survived.
The World Health Organisation (WHO) said breast cancer is the world’s most prevalent cancer and the 5th leading cause of cancer deaths. In 2020, 2.3 million women were diagnosed with breast cancer while 685,000 deaths were attributed to it. The American Cancer Society says only lung cancer kills more women each year than breast cancer.
Those stats are enough to scare anyone.
When I sat with Fakiyesi for a Zoom chat recently to tell her survivor story, she brought so much vibe that suggested she was not the same woman driving through a storm barely a year ago. For someone who had gone through the trauma of breast cancer twice, she passes as a friendly individual who possesses a calm demeanor. It took a whole week of back and forth between myself and her manager to get this zoom interview. And when we finally chose a time to commune, she donned a blue dress to tell her inspiring survivor story.
“My mum was a disciplinarian and as such, I was a very reserved person, not used to relating to people,” she told me as she reminisced about her late mother.
Fakiyesi’s first experience with breast cancer was in primary school, her mother had battled breast cancer twice. The end of that battle was the loss of one breast after her mom returned from the United States. Young Fakiyesi would learn that this is a hurdle she would learn to embrace in the future. The second time, her mum was not very lucky. She lost the battle. The memories are very painful to broach with Fakiyesi.
“It came back aggressively as she was using a Nigerian hospital that was not well equipped. I saw my mother’s body decay. I saw maggots coming out from her body. It was a painful death,” she told me. While we slightly touched on the matter; we said a word of prayer for her mum.
The struggle was very real when she clocked 23. It started with a bloody discharge from her left nipple and it was while she was staying with her uncle she discovered this. A visit to the hospital would later confirm her biggest fear – she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
“I went to the office and told my line manager to give me a break. I went to a private hospital and they did several tests on me to ascertain whether it was cancer or not cancer. When the doctor told me I didn’t believe it. My conception before then was that it was only old people that have cancer. I was even doing my master’s program then. I thought they didn’t know what they were saying.”
She did a second test at the Lagos State University Teaching Hospital and it came out the same way but it was in stage zero. She was advised to do a mastectomy. With the kind of background she had, not anyone knew her struggles for weeks. Only a close friend knew and even family members were exempt. Fakiyesi had hinted already that she faced the stigma of surviving cancer from a group of people. So it was only right to keep it hush.
She later told them and her life began to change from 2015. She went from one church to another in search of a miracle to overturn her oncologist’s proclamation. She went to Synagogue Church of all Nations pastored by late T.B Joshua. Until his death in June 2021, Joshua was famous across the world as a prophet who could heal all kinds of diseases, including cancer and HIV.
It was at the Synagogue Fakiyesi said she heard a voice from God.
“It was my fourth Sunday at TB Joshua’s church when I heard: ‘why waste time when I have given you everything you need to be healed.’ I looked around and wondered maybe someone was whispering to me. Then I took my bag and left.”
She returned to the hospital to commence treatment and the cost implications of beast cancer downed on her. She is grateful to Angela Emuwa, her godmother, and her firm for helping her with 70% funds to conduct the surgery. This was on September 18, 2015, when she realised that she needed to undergo radiotherapy. However, the only two radiotherapy machines to complete the process were booked from 2015 till April 2016. She could not wait and sought more funds to leave for cheap healthcare in India to complete the radiotherapy. On getting to India, she did a Positron Emission Tomography (PET) scan, stayed for a month after which she did a reconstructive breast surgery since she was worried of going about with one breast. She returned after six months for another PET scan supported by her godmother. They assured her that cancerous cells were gone.
Cancer strikes again
In 2019, just three weeks to her introduction, breast cancer stuck again. This time, she was having her bath when she rediscovered some lumps in her breast.
“I was bathing in the morning when I felt five or six lumps in the reconstructed breast, I was wondering what is this again?”
She initially doubted and resorted to anointing oil. After two weeks, she went to another diagnostic centre in Oshodi affirming her fears once again.
“I opened the result and saw what was there and started crying till I got into the bus and stopped at my destination. People on the bus were wondering what was happening to me. Someone wanted to pay for my transport, I told them not to worry because I couldn’t tell them it was cancer. I got to the office my eyes were swollen, my then boss saw me, I told her and she let me take the week off. My doctor however asked for me to go for other tests.”
After the second results had been confirmed, she had to come clean with her fiance. She had told him about her battles with the disease. It only made sense to tell him now that she was suffering a relapse of the ailment.
He did not take it lightly- even though she remarks that he is married at the moment. “He was like it was a lie and probably it has always been there and I just lied to him that I didn’t have it anymore. We argued about it.” He left her and never called again. Her group of friends did the hard work of recovering the money she borrowed for the wedding to hold. She believes it is a natural thing to go to any length for one’s true love and the drama her girls ensued at the ex-fiance’s office got her 80% of the money.
“After he called off the engagement, I asked him about my financial commitment since he used my account to take a loan from the bank. He was trying to play smart about it. So I told my friends and my friends were initially mad at me but I said he is my husband-to-be. I never caught him cheating and that was why I did it. My friends got his boss involved and I got 80% of the money. I heard he is married now, I am okay too. After the second test, I went in for surgery to prove that I can survive breast cancer a second time.”
In the same 2019, she went through another mastectomy of the reconstructed breast and eight chemotherapy sessions. “It came out as stage two breast cancer. I also had to do chemo. I was scared of dying but my doctor assured me that it will be fine. When I got the estimate, I went to my company and they supported me. When a government hospital gives you an estimate, it is not the complete bill, there are other miscellaneous expenses included. Since my firm had already supported me. I supplemented with my salary, loans, and support from my godmother.”
She went through chemotherapy and another radiotherapy and something was seen around her lungs again. She however took her oncologist’s advice, to take a break and resume in January 2020 to take more tests. The doctor’s advice after the additional tests were to go for more chemotherapy, however, this advice didn’t sit so well with her other oncologist who felt she had been traumatised enough by chemo.
A suicide attempt
She recalls that the chemotherapy session was crazy as she almost ran mad during the period. She noted that it was her chief caregiver that saved her life.
“My step mum said one night I was struggling with the door to go out without clothes on. My second oncologist at Lagos University Teaching hospital was the one that was giving those chemotherapy sessions. After I learnt that I would need more sessions, I went out to get sniper to end it for real. I bought the sniper and was about drinking it when my sister’s memories came to my mind. My elder sister is autistic and I was fully responsible for her. This was where I dropped the sniper and broke down into tears. I even asked God to let me be killed by a car.”
Another surgery
Nonetheless, her oncologist in LASUTH advised her to seek money for another PET scan in India.
This led her back to her company that agreed to cover the cost again for another scan. She was still in need of money to go to India and went on a fundraising drive to support the trip again. On getting there, they found out that she had an incomplete surgery and not another cancer attack. She chose to go to a new hospital to get the PET scan done but the new hospital in India advised her to do another surgery that ran into $4,000.
“I went to my social media and requested money. Within three days, my money was complete. Still, no breast cancer foundation supported me. They collected all my information but did not support me,” she laughs. They brought out 14 things from my body and tested all 14 things but none had cancer. In Nigeria, they said it increased in size but in India, it was finally gone. I like to think it’s a miracle.”
Fakiyesi said she had to return to Nigeria after the scan. And she hurried the doctors to remove the drain connected to her body to allow her to return home. She recalls that her friend, Folashade was giving her half of her salary through her cancer ordeal.
The friend was instrumental in booking her a flight home in March 2020 and the moment she got in, the country locked down during the COVID-19 virus pandemic. “Above all, I am no longer depressed. What I have been doing is sharing my story, so people can learn. I regret that I contemplated taking my life. I am grateful that God used my autistic sister to minister to me.”
“So when are you doing your breast cancer foundation?” I asked.
She laughs, “I am not doing breast foundation, maybe when I travel out. I am just on my own preaching the gospel. Breast cancer foundation in Nigeria is a scam and is being used to collect money.”
Fakiyesi, in voicing her concerns noted that breast cancer is being paid lip service to in Nigeria. “Do you know we don’t have up to 1,000 trained oncologists in Nigeria? Every five minutes, one person is being diagnosed with breast cancer. Then calculate it to the trained oncologists in Nigeria. These doctors are overwhelmed and a lot want to leave the country. Some of these doctors are not trained for it.”
She also lamented the dearth of instruments in detecting breast cancer while asking the government to continue to invest in good healthcare.
