Rotimi Akinola: UNILORIN’s “accidental” slap and my convo with Dr. Ajiboye
Me: Dr. Ajiboye, how are you doing?
Ajiboye: I’m fine.
Me: Heard you slapped UNILORIN SUG president on Monday?
Ajiboye: SUG president? Where? Is he not a student? Who made him SUG president? Is that what he came to do here? He will get a real slap if he doesn’t face his studies.
Me: Student or SUG president, I heard you slapped him. Is it true sir?
Ajiboye: What if I slapped him? Will heaven fall? See, children of nowadays are very rude. They need help. We are here to build their character and we will teach them a lesson.
Me: Yes sir, did you slap him?
Ajiboye: I have told you the answer.
Me: You haven’t sir. I need to know for sure if you slapped him or not. Did you slap him?
Ajiboye: Look here Mr…what do you call yourself, let us assume I did not slap him.
Me: Someone said assumption is the lowest level of knowledge sir. You of all people should know that sir. You’re a lecturer, a Ph. D. holder, the sub dean of Faculty of Engineering. They don’t assume much in your field of expertise, do they?
Ajiboye: Are you trying to insult me?
Me: No sir.
Ajiboye: Okay, for the record…that Eminent boy is a liar.
Me: A liar? How?
Ajiboye: How could he claim I slapped him? I’m sure he doesn’t have evidence. You too, can you prove that I slapped him?
Me: That’s why I’m asking you sir. I heard it happened in public. I heard people were there and they saw you do it. Someone said it was a public humiliation that could lead a feeble mind to suicide. I was told DVC Ijaiya had to hug the assaulted SUG pres…sorry, the assaulted student to save him from shame.
Ajiboye: *Laughs out loud* Who told you these? This is fake news. These are lies. *Shakes head*
Me: You mean the student lied against you?
Ajiboye: See, these students are lying. And if they don’t apologise, I will tell the VC and the Senate to expel them. Many of them will be fortunate to be rusticated.
Me: But I heard the VC told Eminent that he believed you slapped him but that your denial of the incident should be taken for apology; that you’re perhaps shy to apologise publicly.
Ajiboye: The VC must be out of his mind. Don’t tell him I said so but he must be insane to side with students over a lecturer. I’m the elder. This is Africa. Even if I’m wrong, my fellow elders must support me.
Me: I see. So you did not slap Eminent?
Ajiboye: You want me to swear to God? Okay, I did not. My hand only accidentally hit his face, and he overreacted.
Me: Accidentally?
Ajiboye: Yes. Accidentally.
Me: You mean like when the military accidentally bombed Nigerians in Rann?
Ajiboye: What are you insinuating? Are you okay?
Me: I’m okay sir.
Ajiboye: Get out of my office.
Me: Sir?
Ajioboye: I said you should leave. It’s like you haven’t seen me slap a student before.
Me: *hurries out*
The entire conversation took place in my head.
