“This is my 29th year of marriage and I do not have any child. So, I decided to marry a wife to continue the lineage of my husband,” Angela Azubuike, told me as we sat for a chat at her residence in Umuala, Isiala Ngwa LGA of Abia state. ‘Evuru akpoche uzo’ in Igboland is when a family’s name goes into extinction due to the lack of a child, particularly a male offspring. To prevent this from happening, a woman can marry another woman if her husband does not want to take another wife.

Azubuike, 58, is one of the women in Igboland still practising the agelong tradition that allows a woman to marry another woman while she’s married to a man, making the woman a wife and a husband simultaneously.

In Igboland and other parts of Africa, ‘mkpuru afo’, childbearing, is a vital part of marriage, and women who experience delays in having a child are almost entirely blamed for the delay notwithstanding if their husbands also have any underlining medical issues. Single women are also constantly reminded that they are getting old and need to have offspring. The African society’s definition of an offspring involves the process of getting pregnant and going into labour to have a child.

In a country where 82% of adults agree that women face some form of discrimination, married and single women who are yet to give birth face different forms of stigmatisation and maltreatment. To confront the stigma, the Igbo culture allows such women to marry another woman for their husbands to carry on with the family’s name and heritage.

Angela Azubuike defying her 80-year-old husband’s plea also chose to explore the option after 29 years of marriage without a child.

“I told her not to marry a wife,” her husband, Elleazar Azubuike, told me.

In an Igbo society where delay in having a child is seen as barbaric and attracts scorn and stigma from the husband’s family, Angela’s action, though an uncommon practice, is a justified custom.

The History of Woman-Woman Marriage in Igboland

The origin of woman-woman marriage before colonial times among the Igbo people is uncertain due to a lack of documentation, but British colonial officer Amaury Talbot first documented the practice in 1914 while gathering information on the indigenous customs of the southeastern region of Nigeria.

Some people also trace the tradition to a popular folklore among the Owerri people in Imo State about the story of a female deity, Ogugu, the goddess of fertility, who married another female deity, Wiyeke. But Angela believes the culture dates back to biblical times when Sarah asked Abraham to copulate with her maid Hagar to ensure the continuity of lineage.

“This means that it is crucial to ensure the continuity of lineage. If it weren’t so, Sarah wouldn’t have asked his husband to sleep with Hagar,” she said.

According to Professor Egodi Uchendu of the University of Nigeria, Nsukka, in her book woman-woman marriage in Igboland, the practice has been in existence since pre-colonial times, despite Christianity being the predominant religion in the region. Polygamy, which was widely practised in pre-colonial and colonial times, but became less common due to Christain doctrine, offered the chance of getting a male child for the continuity of the lineage. Why then do some women prefer to marry another woman, instead of persuading their husbands to marry another wife?

Why Women Marry Women in Igboland.

In Igboland, procreation is seen as the essence of marriage during precolonial and colonial times, and children were cherished as gifts from God. The gift of a child, especially a male child, was regarded as a greater treasure than wealth, leading to common names like Nwabuba, meaning “child is wealth.” The importance of children in a marriage is also demonstrated in the cultural songs sung by the Igbos.

Olisa nye m nwa nye m ego
Olisa nye m nwa nye m ego
karia I ga awo m nwa wo m ego
mgbe nwa m toro ego m abia
mgbe nwa m toro ego m abia

(“God give me a child and give me money
Instead of denying me a child deny me money
When my child grows up, money will come”.)

While childlessness is the main reason why a woman would seek to marry another woman in traditional Igbo society, not having a male child is another factor.

“Apart from not giving birth to a child, there are other conditions that can cause a woman to seek to marry a wife. For example, a woman who has only given birth to female children may marry a wife to bear male sons and keep the family name,” Angela says.

In traditional Igbo society, female children do not partake in the inheritance of their family because they are viewed as belonging to their husband’s family.

Angela said that male promiscuity could be another reason a woman may marry another woman. The need to prevent her husband from contracting sexually transmitted diseases can lead a woman to marry a wife to help satisfy the sexual needs of her husband.

“If you cannot match your husband’s sexual needs, you can marry a wife for him to stop him from sleeping around,” Angela says.

How Traditional Rite of Woman-Woman Marriage in Igboland is Conducted.

“There is no difference between the traditional rites a man performs when he marries a wife and the rites a woman performs when she marries a wife,”Onyinyechi who has attended several woman-woman marriages, told me. Onyinyechi, who hails from Agburuike Nusulu in Isiala Ngwa North village, accompanied Angela when she went to marry a wife.

“The rites are the same for both men and women,” she said.

Elaborate ceremonies are performed for marriages in Igboland, which are often expensive and involve a series of consultations between the two prospective partners. Before the wedding, a list of traditional rites to be fulfilled is given, including items such as rice, wrappers, drinks, ingredients, and snuff tobacco.

“I was given a list for both men and women in the community and I fulfilled everything on that list,” Angela said.

Angela’s husband, Eleazar, a former customary judge and an elder in an Orthodox church revealed more details about the custom.

While a source close to the family, who preferred not to be mentioned told me that Eleazar disapproved of his wife marrying a woman solely because of his position in the church, Eleazar said that “even if a man refuses to support his wife to marry a woman, she can still marry if she has the backing of her in-laws.” However, in Igboland, women do not perform some cultural rites, and can not stand in as a man during the traditional rites.

“No woman stands as a man. A woman cannot go to marry a wife without presenting a male relation to whom the woman will be handed over to,” Eleazar said. “Even in conditions where an unmarried woman decides to marry a wife, male relations from her birthplace will stand on her behalf.”

It is not only married women that seek to marry a wife. Though rare, it is also an acceptable practice for an unmarried woman to marry a wife, whose offerings would bear the father’s name. While attempts to contact a disabled unmarried woman in Obikiabia, Abia State, who married a wife as her amputated arm appeared to discourage suitors, Eleazar told me that such situations are uncommon but necessary if the family has no male child.

This appears to follow the tradition where the children of daughters who gave birth out of wedlock are regarded as legitimate children and are entitled to inheritance rights within the family. Traditionally, the child’s biological father has no right or claim over the child until he performs marriage rites over the child’s mother. Another culture that perhaps unmarried women taking a wife might have gained acceptance is the existence of ‘Male Daughters”.

Prof Uchendu wrote of this practice where daughters are kept at home by their fathers so as to have male children from them:

“Fathers wishing to retain one of their daughters at home to have male children for them will present palm wine to their immediate male family members and inform them of their decision. From then onwards the matter will be accepted and the lady in question would be treated as a man for the rest of her life. This was the idea behind the existence of ‘male daughters’ in parts of Igboland.”

Eleazar also revealed that the dead can also have “legitimate children” in their name long after their demise.

“In the event that a man dies without having a child, the wife can, with the arrangement of the deceased husband’s relatives, marry a wife. In such occasions, any child the woman wife gives birth to through her male cohorts, which can be within the family or sourced from different villages, will bear the man’s name and is regarded as a legitimate son with inheritance rights,” Eleazar said.

“Woman-woman marriage in Igboland,” Uchendu wrote, “does not connote the existence of sexual relationship among women similar to lesbianism.”

“It is by no means a homosexual affair but cannot also be regarded as a plain heterosexual union,” she added.

Who is responsible for the sexual needs of the female wife?

The female husband, as the head of the woman-woman marriage, dictates to a large extent the life of her wife, including who her sexual partners should be. In most cases, the male husband plays the role of a male cohort for his wife’s woman-wife. But in situations where he refuses or did not consent to the union, a family member could become the cohort or one is sourced from a different village. In some parts of Igboland, woman wives are allowed to choose men of their choice but they must be individuals with no questionable character.

While it appears that the tradition is making a rebound, women who married other women appeared reluctant to share experiences. I feel their reluctance is a result of discrimination, particularly from people who believe that though it is an Igbo practice, it is against the tenants of Christianity, which many in the region profess.

For the pitfalls of the culture, Angela sees no disadvantage and prefers the tradition to the practice of adopting a child.

“It is not all women that would give birth and there is no woman that would like her husband’s family lineage to end. It is better than adopting a child,” she said.

As we sat for the chat, with her three-year-old daughter pacing around the room, amid her constant grins and smiles, I could feel the pain she had endured from the constant stigmatisation she must have endured from family members due to the delay in having her own children.