Uche and Sheinelle (2007-2008, IBADAN)
I heard Uche was going to get married in 2007, and I was quite happy for him.
Marriage was far from my mind at the time. That year was the first time I travelled out of Nigeria for work. After a while, I realized that two things could exist side by side. It was ok for Uche to miss Nigeria even if I wasn’t feeling that way at the time. It seemed Uche’s plans were about making up for his long absence from Nigeria, while I was chasing opportunities for occasional absences from Nigeria.
For some reason, one of Uche’s main wishes for his wedding was for his childhood pastor (my Dad) to officiate at his wedding. Since my parents were already visiting the UK at the time, my dad could hop across the pond, and that was what he did. He made it to the U.S in time, officiated at the wedding and flew back.
I thought that Marriage would cure Uche of the issues I assumed were making him show up in Nigeria frequently. The last thing I expected was for him to show up with his new bride in Nigeria. So when I was informed that the Ojehs were around, I assumed it was just the Ojeh parents. I was quite surprised to hear that Uche and Sheinelle were in town. Uche had chosen to spend his first Christmas and New Year as a newlywed with his bride in Nigeria. Given the opportunity to have a white Christmas, Uche instead chose to have a brown Christmas.
I went to see them on a Saturday at their Ibadan residence and met Sheinelle for the first time. We discussed the electoral chances of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton in the Democratic primary process. As a typical Nigerian, I had no first-hand experience of America, but I considered myself an expert on America. After sharing my view on the possible outcomes of the election, she replied with the facts on the ground.
Let’s just say that history proved her right.
The next day was a Sunday, and the Ojehs were in church. Uche and his new bride stood up during church for recognition when my dad announced in church that two generations of Ojehs were visiting. After the service, Uche and Sheinelle were warmly received by families who knew the Ojehs and their years of service in the church. Uche took her over to the music stand to show her where he started off in music. The drum set that we played back in the day was made by Premier Percussion in the UK. The replacement was a lot shinier but was missing the lustre of the older one.
They left the church building and he took her around the compound, showing her the classrooms where he learnt on Sunday as well as the areas where we had played as children. Unfortunately, the mango and almond trees that fell victim to our stones and sticks were removed when the church compound was tarred. The compound held memories for Uche, and he did his best to explain every part of it to his new bride. On a previous visit to Nigeria, Uche showed up at the church compound during the school day, found the school kids playing table tennis (ping-pong), and he joined them in a match.
After his tour of the compound, we retired to our house, which was where the Ojeh’s red Volvo used to be parked on Sundays. We were hungry, so I took them to get some lunch at Mr. Biggs in Bodija. After dropping them off, I started my journey back to Lagos. In my absence, Uche continued his journey into the past by visiting different parts of the University of Ibadan, where he spent a lot of his childhood.
Seeing Uche and Sheinelle during the Nigerian pilgrimage helped me to understand that Marriage was not exactly the “change agent” that it was described to be. Uche’s love for his country of birth did not diminish after the wedding.
Like other aspects of human existence, it showed me then that marriage was whatever you wanted it to be.
