The Parking Spot Hustle (JULY 2015, NY)
We got back home from our mini-vacation on a Sunday, and as the kids settled in, Uche asked me to step out of the house with him. He had spotted an empty car space that was big enough to hold his large vehicle in front of the house. I was surprised when he screamed for me to stand on the spot and not allow anyone to park there.
I totally understood the concept of claiming space and asserting dominion over territory from my days in Lagos. I found it fascinating that Uche wanted me to act like an “area boy” on the streets of New York. Considering that my visibly pregnant wife and my son were inside the house, how great would it have been to hear that Daddy passed onto glory because he was defending an empty spot? But then I thought, how would I explain to Uche that a Nigerian was scared of protecting a spot on the mean streets of New York? So I stood resolutely like I knew what I was doing. Since the street only allowed traffic in one direction, Uche had to make a turn on the next street before coming back.
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Just before he showed up, another driver saw the empty spot but did not see me standing with my arms folded. As the driver inched forward, I made eye contact with him, frowned and delivered my best impression of the Lagos motor-park strongman. The driver (who happened to be African American) realised what was happening and then broke out into laughter. He realised that I was claiming space for my friend and left. By the time he drove away, I was extremely relieved and thankful that my acting career was over. Uche showed up, and I presented the spot to him as evidence of my battles on those streets.
That was when he explained that NY street sweepers were coming the next day, so they expected one side of the street to be empty until they were done sweeping. This was the explanation for all the drama that he put me through.
