Wike’s Only Lasting Friends Are His Expensive Whiskies
The widely said adage, “when a man fights everyone in the village, perhaps it is time he looked in the mirror,” holds enormous wisdom and is often true in most contexts. But try telling that to Nyesom Wike, the former Governor of Rivers State and current Minister of the Federal Capital Territory — a man who seems to fall out with someone new every week and always has something unsavoury to say about people who were once his closest allies.
In all the travails that have followed Wike — from his early days as governor to his current tenure as minister — the 57-year-old, who many would argue appears older than his age, has never considered himself the problem in any of the conflicts he finds himself embroiled in. Every former friend, ally, or associate has, somehow, wronged him. Everyone, except, of course, his expensive whisky — the one thing that has never offended him.
Today, quite surprisingly to many, his latest foe is Governor Seyi Makinde of Oyo State — a former ally and member of the once-rebellious G5 Governors, now turned sworn saboteur. Wike now calls Makinde “the architect of PDP’s problems,” accusing him of breaching agreements, manipulating party organs, and conspiring with Enugu’s Governor Peter Mbah to impose their will on others. All this, while Wike himself serves as a minister in the APC-led federal government and still claims to be a loyal PDP member. It’s like attending Mass in the morning and leading a shrine ritual at dusk — somehow, he sees no contradiction.
But let’s go back.
Before Makinde, it was Atiku Abubakar. After losing the PDP presidential ticket in 2022, Wike turned his fury on Atiku — not for picking Ifeanyi Okowa as running mate, as Wike claimed he wasn’t interested in the VP slot — but because Atiku, according to him, shared party positions only among his loyalists. Wike demanded that Iyorchia Ayu, the party chairman, step down for a southerner. When that didn’t happen, Wike took his rage to the ballot. He openly worked against his party to deliver Rivers State for Bola Tinubu of the APC in one of the most contentious elections in recent memory.
Wike’s own political godson, Siminalayi Fubara, won Rivers State under the PDP. However, barely months into the new administration, Wike fell out with him, claiming that Fubara was dismantling the PDP structure in the state. The political impasse between Wike and Fubara escalated to the point where Tinubu had to impose a state of emergency-style intervention — effectively suspending Fubara for six months. And yet again, Wike claimed to be the aggrieved party. The betrayed. The misunderstood.
At some point, one must ask: how many friends must become enemies before you realise the common denominator is you?
Even as he violates party lines, undermines the PDP from within the APC cabinet, and controls his local PDP ward like a feudal lord, Wike still insists he’s fighting for justice. Fighting for the soul of the party. From within the enemy’s kitchen.
But amid the noise and betrayals, there’s one constant companion that has never betrayed him — his whisky. A 40-year-old, tastefully aged, gloriously expensive whisky. Some estimate it costs about N15 million per bottle.
Rotimi Amaechi — who once appointed Wike as his Chief of Staff and practically brought him to political limelight before they, too, became bitter enemies — once said:
“The person Wike buys alcohol from said Wike spends N50 million every week on alcohol. The primary schools we built cost N112 million. It means that in two weeks, Wike has drunk one primary school.”
And he didn’t stop there.
“When Wike talks, it is alcohol that is talking. And he’s so shameless about it. Wike told the whole world on live TV that he was drinking a very expensive 40-year-old whisky in the morning.”
In Wike’s world, people always change. People always betray. People always offend.
Except whisky — his last friend standing.
I said this because it is only a matter of time before he turns against his current pay master, Bola Tinubu.
The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Neusroom.
