Escalator, I hate thou!

By Nurdin Temitayo Busari

I remember my first escalator experience now and I still feel stupid as usual. It was in one of the Arab countries. I took the elevator up to buy this wonderful ice cream. There are luxury in everything including ice cream. I haven’t seen such ice cream anywhere again even the so called continent of materialism. Anyway that aside.

On my way down I decided to take the escalator at least to try something new. I cannot be a bush boy forever. With two bowls and one cone of ice creams I approached the escalator. The movement of the metal stairs got me confused; should I approach it with the right foot or left? I don’t know. I stepped back to watch others. They were very fast! I can’t even figure the leg they put first. One mind told me to respect myself and go back to the elevator another mind told me not to give up. That I am destined to conquer. So I give up the respect I have for myself and re-approached the scrolling beast of a metal.

I can’t remember the leg I used. I can’t remember whether the metal felt abused or annoyed. All I saw was that in a matter of seconds, I found myself sitting gently at the lower end of the escalator with various flavor of ice cream patterning my face and shirt. How I got there I no no. Where were the bowls and cone I no no. Did I roll, slide or summersault I no no.

It was a sight! It didn’t bother me that people started laughing. No! But a small boy has the temerity to come closer and start licking the ice cream off my cloth and face with his finger while I sit down wondering whether to stand up or sit there forever. He was laughing too. And after that he took the escalator up using the downward side. What an effrontery!

I felt mentally abused and psychologically traumatised. Why me? I walked gently back to my hotel room and didn’t come out for days.

For those who have asked me the reason for my hatred for escalators. Now you know! Escalator, I hate thou!